Bad luck – comes in threes!
Or so they say…
It’s funny how life can turn on a sixpence, one minute you can be plodding along thinking everything is fine with the future seemingly mapped out, then bang, stuff comes along to derail your plans. In my case it was 2016-17 and three things happened in short succession; my career hit a few bumps in the road – denting my confidence, my marriage went unexpectedly sideways, and I had a bit of a health scare.
So I gave my head a wobble and decided to recalibrate my life – rethink my relationship with work, do more travel, look after my health and put friends and family on the top of the list. All of that sounds quite simple when put into a single sentence, but it wasn’t, and I’m still working on it.
I’d like to say that what happened next was all planned out, but if I’m honest, most was sheer luck – a combination of being in the right place at the right time or stars aligning.
Thankfully the universe intervened quite early on…
Shortly after my marriage tanked, I was incredibly lucky to find a like-minded companion in Emma, someone I met via a chance introduction from a mutual friend when I was at my lowest ebb. It turned out that she was experiencing turbulence in her life too and, like me, was in the process of going through her own divorce. We hit it off from the get go.
The curveball
My soon to be ex-wife had found someone new whilst rehearsing for a play at a local amateur dramatic theatre group, a fellow actor she was performing alongside. They are both incredibly talented and there was an obvious and strong connection between them which wasn’t difficult to spot… Well these things happen!
So after almost two decades together and only six months into our marriage, I found myself out in the cold, alone and to top it all, I was unemployed for only the second time in my life. I wasn’t bitter, just massively upset, and rationalised it as the gift of “karma”, delivered right into my lap, particularly for the way I’d left my first wife back in 2001. I got to feel the pain and hurt I had inflicted on her back then – what goes around, comes around! Despite the rationalisation, I don’t mind admitting that it was a depressing and scary time, as my hopes and dreams for the future were well and truly extinguished. Thank goodness for the support from some amazing friends who were there when I needed them.
In a galaxy far far away…
Meanwhile… Emma, someone I’d yet to meet, had found the courage to choose a new path after her marriage had gone the way of so many others. There’s a lot more to that story, but it’s also not mine tell…
Like me, Emma was staring at a new uncharted future, very different from that she had envisioned, and like me she found herself alone.
Following our serendipitous meeting at Meera’s house down in Brighton, and because we had so much in common – going through our respective divorces, we exchanged details and agreed to meet up.
Neither of us was actively looking to start a new relationship when we first met, but I’m glad we did, as it was the start of something very special indeed. I will be forever grateful to Meera
🙏 ❤️🙏
West Country Life
I was also extremely lucky to have the opportunity to live and work in the West Country for a few years when my short period of unemployment came to an end. Securing a job outside Southampton and away from our home, gave both my ex and me some much needed space. The isolation and beauty of the Quantock Hills was a godsend, allowing me to take stock and reset my life.
For over three and a half years I lived in a beautiful two-bedroomed cottage in a pretty village called Bishops Lydeard, a stones throw from the North Somerset coast. It was idyllic, but the distance from family and friends was a real challenge.
Work was tough, with long hours and tons of pressure, and on a project that was as big as they get. It was great to get my teeth stuck into something so challenging, and it offered a fantastic distraction from the drama in my personal life.
Living 170 miles apart, Emma and I would often go several weeks at a time without seeing each other. We both had other responsibilities so travel wasn’t really on the cards; simply meeting up was a logistical challenge, especially as most of our six kids were still going through full time education. WhatsApp and Zoom became our primary means of communication, and I guess that’s where we really started to get to know each other.
Travels – a new start!
It was about this three or four year period of my life that I also started to get hooked on travel, even more so than before. I went on a few European road trips with my son in 2018 and 2019, setting off from Calais and simply heading south with a tent and our bikes without booking anything. Indeed, I’d let Natty decide on a country or region, and we’d chose the routes on a whim; they were trips full of pure adventure.
I did a similar thing with Emma in 2020 and discovered a world of no distractions, oodles of freedom and found some amazing places. I’ve always suffered a little from “what’s-around-the-corner-itis” and so came to discover that it’s now incurable!
I also found new corners of the UK that I’d never visited or which I simply felt compelled to revisit, from Jersey, Skye, the Lakes, Northumberland and Wales to Cornwall. So I started to channel a lot of my energy into seeking out places to go on a limited budget.
COVID reset
With the long distances, the ‘single household’ COVID restrictions of 2020 were tough. The periods of lock-down & isolation, combined with the anxiety of not knowing where the chaos would leave us, had a profound impact on me. Without wanting to sound too deep and philosophical, it made me question why I am here and, on the back of recent experiences, realise the importance of simply being happy, seizing the moment and not taking life, people or things for granted.
Stepping off the treadmill
In 2021 I made a decision to ditch the stresses of the corporate world and spend more time doing important stuff in life. So I joined the gig economy, starting work as a freelance/part-time goods/truck driver a far cry from my previous suit-wearing life. Although this offered no job security whatsoever (and a lot less pay), it did give me the freedom I needed in order to respond quickly when a good travel deal or other opportunity came along. I’ve since decided to take the plunge into early retirement; it’s a big step, but one I don’t think I’ll regret.
The new “Brady Bunch”?
After the divorce, I ended up buying an end terrace cottage back in Southampton, mainly to be close to my son as he finished his education.
It was an interesting period, juggling between my new place, Somerset and Emma’s home in South London. But it was great to have a few bases for our family to meet up.
…And with my relationship with Emma going from strength to strength, the word “family” also started to have a different meaning, having doubled in size!
Three boys and three girls WOW, add partners to the mix and gatherings just got complicated.
New purpose and direction.
So, with the kids either grown up, out of university or sixth form college, we’ve a lot more flexibility. Emma joins me on most travels and throws herself completely into everything we do, managing to squeeze every ounce of fun out of what life has to offer!
At the moment Emma is also more tied to her work, but with a little bit of planning she’s is able to go into “digital nomad” mode; the only thing we need is a decent WiFi or 4G network (even in a tent).
Our aim is to travel somewhere new every month or so until we are both able to fully retire – after when, who knows! Those early days of being apart and the circumstances that brought us together in the first place have really helped us put things into perspective.
Anyway, I’ve been posting stuff about my/our adventures on Facebook over the past few years and a few friends suggested I start a travel blog to record what we do and to share ideas with others more widely. So here it is!
We spend a lot of time researching the best deals, do most of our travelling on a shoestring (but not always) and like to go off the beaten track as much as we can.
So, if you want to know more about the places we have stayed, details about routes, cost and other stuff, please do ask and I’ll do my best to reply. Going forward, I aim to include a little more in the way of helpful information.